What happens at a wedding, and in what order

The usual shape of a wedding in Bangalore, from the engagement to the reception — written so you can plan timings and tell the venue what you need, not as a guide to the rituals themselves.

A caution worth saying out loud: rituals differ by community, by region and by family, and no single article covers them correctly. This one is written as a planning document — what happens roughly when, and what each part needs from the venue — and it says so at the top. Your purohit and the elders in both families are the authority on the rituals themselves.

Bangalore hosts weddings from every community in the country, and the rituals differ in every one of them. This is not a guide to the rituals — your purohit and the elders in both families are the people for that.

It is a guide to the shape: what tends to happen when, and what each part needs from the venue. That is the part you have to plan, book and pay for.

The engagement, weeks or months earlier

The nischitartha or engagement is usually a separate, smaller function, often at a home or a small hall, and frequently months before the wedding. It sets the date formally.

If you are hosting it at a venue, it needs far less than the wedding does — a hall for a smaller group, a simple meal, and a few hours. Many families use the venue visit for the wedding as an opportunity to ask about a smaller hall for this.

The day or evening before

Most weddings have one or more functions the day before: haldi or arishina, mehendi, a sangeet, a nandi or puja at home. Some families hold these at home, some at the venue.

This is the question that most affects your venue booking. If the functions the day before are at the venue, you need it from the previous morning, not the wedding morning, and you need somewhere for the family to change and rest. Ask what the venue charges for the extra day — some include a partial previous day, many do not.

Also ask about catering for these functions. A venue tied to in-house catering will usually want to cater the previous day’s meals too.

The wedding morning

Most muhurthams in this part of the country fall in the morning, often early. That has consequences that families underestimate.

Decorators need the hall the night before or from very early that morning. The bride’s party needs a room to get ready in, from several hours before. Breakfast is needed for the family and for early-arriving guests, often before the main catering slot begins.

Ask the venue three specific things: what time decorators may enter, what time the kitchen can start serving, and which rooms are available from when.

The ceremony itself

The sequence varies by community — the mandap rituals, the kanyadaan, the saptapadi, the muhurtham itself and the tying of the thaali or mangalsutra all sit in different orders and under different names depending on where the family is from.

From a venue point of view what matters is: how long the ceremony runs, how many people are seated during it, whether there is a procession to manage, and whether anything involves fire, which some venues restrict.

Give the venue the running order your purohit provides. A venue that has hosted your community’s weddings before will know what it needs.

Lunch, and then the gap

The wedding meal usually follows the ceremony directly. If your dining capacity is below your guest count, this is where two batches happen, and it is worth knowing in advance rather than discovering it on the day.

Many families then have a gap in the afternoon before the reception. Ask whether the venue permits this or whether you are paying for a second slot — and whether the hall needs to be re-dressed in between, which takes time and usually costs money.

The reception

The reception is typically the evening function, often the largest in attendance, sometimes on the same day and sometimes the next. It is the function with the most standing guests and the loosest timings.

For the venue, this is the one that tests parking, the stage, the sound system and the catering capacity simultaneously. If you are expecting the reception to be your biggest function, size the venue on that, not on the ceremony.

The practical list to settle with the venue

Which functions are at the venue, and on which days. When decorators may enter and when you must vacate. Getting-ready rooms and who has access from when. Catering for every meal across all the functions, not just the wedding lunch. Whether the hall is re-dressed between functions and what that costs. Any restriction on fire, loud music after a certain hour, or the number of vehicles.

Settle all of it in writing before you pay the advance.

Tell us which functions you are planning and where, and we will tell you which venues on our list can hold the whole sequence. 080 4709 7540.

Set these eight lines to Heading 2

  1. The engagement, weeks or months earlier
  2. The day or evening before
  3. The wedding morning
  4. The ceremony itself
  5. Lunch, and then the gap
  6. The reception
  7. The practical list to settle with the venue

Common questions

What is the usual order of wedding functions?
Engagement first, often months earlier. Then haldi, mehendi or sangeet the day before, the ceremony on the muhurtham morning, lunch after it, and the reception in the evening or the following day. The detail varies by community.
Do I need to book the venue for more than one day?
If the functions the day before are at the venue, yes, and you need it from that morning, not the wedding morning. Decorators usually need access the night before in any case. Ask what the extra day costs.
What time do decorators need access to the venue?
Usually the night before or very early on the wedding morning, particularly for a morning muhurtham. Get the entry time in writing as part of the booking.
Should I size the venue for the ceremony or the reception?
Usually the reception, it generally has the highest attendance and the most people standing at once. Size the venue for whichever function peaks highest.